Category Archives: Cycling

A Book about Bikes

16785279.jpg I received a very nice surprise in my mailbox today. I came home to find an envelope that looked like it held a book, so I figured it was my latest Book Mooch request, but when I looked at the envelope more closely, I saw that it was from Stefanie. It turns out she and her husband had an extra copy of Frances Willard’s book A Wheel Within a Wheel and decided to send it along to me. Aren’t they the coolest?

I’m so pleased with my new book. I love the picture on the front cover, and I rather desperately want it turned into a poster so I can hang it in my study or my office (or both). The book was originally published in 1895 and was reprinted in the 1990s by Applewood Books. It’s a very short book, about 80 pages, and it tells the story of how Willard learned to ride a bike when she was 53 years old. Willard, the back of my book tells me, was the founder of the Women’s Christian Temperance Union and was a well-known suffragette. The back cover offers this quotation from the book about Willard’s cycling costume:

[It] consisted of a skirt and blouse of tweed, with belt, rolling collar, and loose cravat, the skirt three inches from the ground; a round straw hat, and walking-shoes with gaiters. It was a simple, modest suit, to which no person of common sense could take exception.

I’m suspecting she might be horrified by what people wear on their bike rides today. Or perhaps not — I should read the book before I guess what her reaction would be to today’s not-at-all modest cycling outfits.

I’ve read only the first two pages, but already I’ve fallen in love with the book. I can’t resist quoting from the beginning:

… Born with an inveterate opposition to staying in the house, I very early learned to use a carpenter’s kit and a gardener’s tools, and followed in my mimic way the occupations of the poulterer and the farmer, working my little field with a wooden plow of my own making, and felling saplings with an ax rigged up from the old iron of the wagon-shop. Living in the country, far from the artificial restraints and conventions by which most girls are hedged from the activities that would develop a good physique, and endowed with the companionship of a mother who let me have my own sweet will, I “ran wild” until my sixteenth birthday, when the hampering long skirts were brought, with their accompanying corset and high heels; my hair was clubbed up with pins, and I remember writing in my journal, in the first heartbreak of a young human colt taking from its pleasant pasture, “Altogether, I recognize that my occupation is gone.”

How tragic! Oh, I sympathize completely, even though I never experienced such a thing — I know I would have hated it. High heels and corsets! Terrible.

My work then changed from my beloved and breezy outdoor world to the indoor realm of study, teaching, writing, speaking, and went on almost without a break or pain until my fifty-third year, when the loss of my mother accentuated the strain of this long period in which mental and physical life were out of balance, and I fell into a mild form of what is called nerve-wear by the patient and nervous prostration by the lookers-on. Thus ruthlessly thrown out of the usual lines of reaction on my environment, and sighing for new worlds to conquer, I determined that I would learn the bicycle.

“Sighing for new worlds to conquer,” getting mental and physical life into balance, the bicycle as anti-depressant — you can see, can’t you, that I will love this book?

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Happy Friday Everyone!

I had a lovely afternoon hanging out with Hepzibah; we met for lunch and then hung out in one of my town’s used bookstores. There are few things nicer than spending time with a friend in a used bookstore, is there? I didn’t buy anything, but that doesn’t matter; it was just fun to look around. The shop owner now knows me well enough to inquire after Muttboy when I see him, so we had a nice conversation today about how well-behaved he is.

And then I went on a bike ride, which convinced me, although I can’t say I really needed convincing, that it’s gotten cold out. Today’s high was in the low 40s, and it was a bit windy, conditions that feel rough for me right now, although when January and February come around, temps in the low 40s will begin to sound balmy. It takes me awhile to adjust to cold-weather riding, and it’s particularly true this year, as I took a break from riding for a couple weeks, and in that time, temperatures plummeted. So I went from riding in the 60s and 70s to riding in the 40s all at once. All at once, I’m having to pile on the layers before I head out, tank-top, short-sleeved t-shirt, long-sleeved t-shirt, armwarmers, jersey, long-fingered gloves, cycling gloves, shorts, tights, heavy socks, shoes, and heavy shoe covers. Now it takes at least 15 minutes to prepare for a ride, possibly longer, if I can’t find all my clothing all at once.

I must say, I’m feeling rather unmotivated to ride right now. This is fine for the moment, as it’s still the off-season, and I can afford to take it easy. But soon enough, I’ll need to start training for spring. I’m not sure what the problem is — perhaps it’s feeling stressed about school or perhaps I’m still feeling a bit draggy from the cold I’ve had over the last couple weeks. But I hope it passes … it takes a lot of motivation to head out into the cold.

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Another Century!

I just got back from eating a huge meal, which I felt I could indulge in because I rode my second century of the season today. It was a completely different experience than the one I did two weeks ago. Instead of riding alone, I rode with Hobgoblin and Fendergal, fellow blogger and bike racer. And instead of riding around the hills of Connecticut, this time I rode from Manhattan, beginning near Grant’s Tomb, into New Jersey and upstate New York.

We crossed the Hudson River on the George Washington Bridge, which was one of the cooler parts of the ride; I’d never been across the bridge outside of a car, and the view of the river and of the NYC skyline was spectacular. The ride then took us through suburban Bergen and Rockland counties, eventually taking us out to more rural areas where we could ride on quieter roads through pretty woods and hills. On the way back we rode along the Hudson River for a bit, and it was fun to be able to look out to my left and see the large expanse of water and the hills and trees on the other side of the river with their leaves turning orange. Then it was back into suburbia and back to the bridge and we were finished.

I had a great time talking with Fendergal and Hobgoblin about riding and racing; we also took malicious joy in making fun of some of the other riders, especially those with big heavy backpacks or panniers, which were totally unnecessary, and those who road badly, for instance the guys who kept playing leapfrog with us, passing us and then slowing down so we passed them, and then passing us again. Fendergal is wonderful to have on a ride because she told those guys to stop it, and they did. Such power! There was one guy who decided to ride with us who was wearing an AC/DC jersey and listening to his iPod. There really is no reason to be wearing an iPod on an organized century — why ride with other people if you are going to tune them out? Every once in a while this guy would start bopping around on his bike or would do this ridiculous-looking head-banging move. Strange.

And, no, I’m not always the nicest person when I’m on my bike. Yes, I can be a bike snob, although I’m not nearly as snobby and mean as this guy (or nearly as funny).

Now I can’t decide if I want to try another century, another one all on my own — or maybe even go for 120 or 130 miles, or call it a year and stick with short rides from here on out. We’ll see how I feel next weekend.

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Century!

I rode 100 miles today — woo hoo! There’s a century route that leaves from my town with arrows pointing the way painted on the roads, so I followed it, for the most part. There’s a northern loop of 80 miles that I did first and that returns me to my town, and I figured that if I felt up to it once I returned home, I could head out again for the remaining 20 miles, a loop that heads south over roads I’m very familiar with. I’m rather proud of myself for heading out again after having ridden 80 miles — it’s not so easy when the comforts of food and a hot shower beckon.

I had a bit of a hard time on the first 40 miles, as it was quite windy, and I was heading straight into it. There’s little that’s worse on a bike than riding straight into the wind, especially for a distance as long as 40 miles. Things turned around completely, however, the minute I hit the halfway point of the northern 80 miles and started to ride with the wind at my back. My pace picked up considerably and so did my mood. I’d rather have it this way — a rough section early on and then ease after that.

It was on September 1st that I decided I’d try to do a century this fall. I was aiming for late October or early November — I had no idea at the time that by the end of the month I’d be able to complete one. I guess what this means is that my health is fully back to normal, and I can’t use it as an excuse to wimp out on anything I don’t want to do. This is the first time I’ve done a century all on my own, without the support you get from an organized century, and I like doing it this way — no driving to the start point, no crowds, no people passing me, just me and the road and a couple markets along the way. (Although organized centuries have their benefits too, not least of which is people to draft on.  I’ll be doing one of these in two weeks.)

Here are my stats, for the curious:

  • Distance: 101.2
  • Time ridden: 6:29:27
  • Total time, including breaks: approximately 7:00
  • Average heart rate: 147
  • Maximum heart rate: 170
  • Calories burned: 3,355
  • Average speed: 15.6
  • Maximum speed: 36.5

You’ll see from the numbers that I didn’t rest for terribly long; if I remember correctly, I stopped 7 times (not counting traffic lights), and each time was quite short. I stopped twice at a market to resupply with food and water, three times to eat bites of Cliff bars (eating a whole one at once would be too much), once to find a water bottle I accidentally dropped, and once at home. I hate stopping for long because then my muscles get cold and it’s very hard to warm them up again. So I’ll stop, wolf down some food, and start pedaling again while I’m still chewing. Seven hours is plenty long to spend on a bike ride anyway, no need to make it longer.

And all those calories I burned? I’ve replaced them already. Emily, Hobgoblin (who did his own long ride today), and I just got back from dinner at an Italian restaurant, where I stuffed myself with pasta. I had a lovely time hanging out with Emily, and now I’m very sad because she’s moving this week and will no longer live up the road from me. I’ll miss you Emily!

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Bike rides and new books

I went on a lovely 76-mile ride today. The weather was perfect, in the 70s, clear and dry, and I headed up north into the countryside to enjoy seeing some hills and fields and horses. I used to live in the area I rode through today, and although I love my current town, I do miss the quieter more solitary place I left behind. With the exception of a few hills near the end that made me grumpy, I felt strong and content to sit on the bike for the approximately 5 hours it took to cover those miles. As I neared home I felt as though I could have kept going, if I’d had the time; perhaps when I do my long ride next weekend I will keep going and do a century. At this rate, I’ll be ready to do this century on October 13th with no trouble whatsoever, and I’ll get to ride with racing friend Fendergal! (She should be warned, though, that I’m not particularly fast …)

Okay, now I have or will soon have some new books to tell you about; I’ve been on a Book Mooch binge, using up lots of my points. Here’s what I’ve found:

  • Penelope Lively’s Moon Tiger. A book personally recommended by Litlove — how could I not get a copy of this? I really liked Lively’s novel The Photograph, and so am eager to try something else.
  • William Maxwell’s The Chateau. Also personally recommended by Litlove.
  • Barbara Pym’s Excellent Women. I’m in need of a book that’s sure to be a delight — perhaps I should begin this one? I’m certain I’ll like it.
  • Elizabeth Hardwick’s Seduction and Betrayal. I’ve read so many rave reviews of this book that I snapped it up.
  • Ursula Le Guin’s Dispossessed. Stefanie and Emily both recommended this, and after thoroughly enjoying The Left Hand of Darkness, I felt I had to have another Le Guin.
  • Heather Lewis’s House Rules. Recommended by Jenny D. (You see how seriously I take blogger recommendations?)
  • Georgette Heyer’s Lady of Quality. Another Jenny D. recommendation. This looks like a fun regency romance.

And I got two books recently from Amazon, Dale Spender’s Mothers of the Novel, to learn a little more about 18C women novelists, and Djuna Barnes’s Nightwood, for the Outmoded Authors challenge. There’s lots of good reading here, don’t you think?

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Bullets for Friday

  • My plan was to ride 60 miles this weekend, which I have already accomplished — yay me! This means that the rest of the weekend I can sit on my ass. Okay, maybe I’ll go on a short ride on Sunday. And walk a few miles. Otherwise, I’m resting. The ride was nice — hilly, of course, but the weather was beautiful, upper 60s, lower 70s, a little breezy, smelling like fall.
  • I finished listening to the audio version of Mark Haddon’s The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, and can I just say that I loved this book? I won’t write a whole post on it because I think most people know what it’s about if they haven’t read it already, so I’ll just add my voice to the chorus of people who have praised it and leave it at that. The first person voice is immensely appealing, and I liked getting into the mind of an autistic character and seeing what it’s like in there. I’m definitely hunting down Haddon’s latest book, preferably on audio if I can find it.
  • I finished reading Ursula Le Guin’s The Left Hand of Darkness, and can I just say that I loved this book? I really did. Thanks to those of you who recommended it; trust me — book bloggers don’t lead you wrong. More thoughts on the book later.
  • I’m off to a cycling party tonight; it’s for people who raced in the Tuesday night races in my town. It should be fun — a last chance to see fellow cyclists for a while (as I don’t usually participate in group training rides with them).
  • Enjoy your weekend!

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Essays

Today I rode a slightly different version of the course I rode last week, but it was a completely different experience: no parades, no embarrassing scenes in the market, no saddle slippage. And I was a bit faster. Yay! Today’s ride was 53 miles, and next week I’m riding 60.

After thinking about my potential reading projects, I decided to begin one of them. We’ll see how they go. One thing I have to do is give myself permission to bail on it if it becomes uninteresting. I’m terrible at giving up on books and reading projects, even if they aren’t going well. But I can’t let myself get stuck in a long reading project I’m not enjoying.

So, I decided to begin the essay project; I read the first essay last night, Francis Bacon’s “On Truth,” which has a wonderful first line: “What is truth? said jesting Pilate, and would not stay for an answer.” The essay is quite short, only a couple pages, and it describes both the allure of lies and half-truths:

This same truth is a naked and open daylight that doth not show the masques and mummeries and triumphs of the world half so stately and daintily as candlelights.

and the goodness of truth:

Yet truth, which only doth judge itself, teacheth that the inquiry of truth, which is the love-making or wooing of it, the knowledge of truth, which is the presence of it, and the belief of truth, which is the enjoying of it, is the sovereign good of human nature.

I think the pleasure of reading his essays will lie not so much in the ideas themselves, but in the beauty of the sentences. The prose is dense — I read very slowly — and rich.

I have a collection of Bacon’s essays that I was assigned in grad school; after reading Bacon in The Oxford Book of Essays, I pulled down the Bacon collection and saw that I’d marked up the entire text. Hmmm. I don’t remember reading the entire thing. My class in 17C prose was one of the rare classes where I skipped a significant amount of the reading. But Bacon was the first book we read, and I suppose I was still feeling motivated at the beginning of the semester (before I found out I wasn’t so fond of the professor and stopped giving the class my full attention). I plan on looking through this collection again, reading in it as long as it interests me.

I thought Montaigne was in this collection, but I just checked, and he’s not — I was considering reading through his complete essays as a part of this project. Hmmm. I’ve read many of them, but not all — I tried a complete read-through once but stopped after a while. Should I go back and try again??

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One of my more absurd rides

I finished off my summer with a 50-mile ride yesterday, my longest since I got sick. I’m training for distance right now, but also trying to get some of my hill-climbing ability back — not that I ever had all that much — so I headed for a hilly course (the Housatonic Hills course, for those of you who know the area — it’s about 12-13 miles from my house).

Things started off fine, although I ran into the beginnings of a parade as I rode through one town (side note: Emily, it was your town — were you there??); people were milling about on the edge of the road, cars were swerving all over the place, vendors were out with their big carts, so I did my best to dodge everybody and got out of there.

I had some nice moments. I passed Hobgoblin, who was riding in the other direction, and we stopped for a brief chat. I soaked up as much of the beautiful view as I could, the green and the warmth. Those things will soon be gone, but I’ll still be riding out there. I need to appreciate them while I can.

I had an embarrassing moment when I stopped in a little market/convenience store and handed the guy at the register $2, when he wanted $2.50. I didn’t know why he was looking at me funny. He laughed and said I’ve been working so hard riding I can’t think straight, which was pretty much true; I do get absent-minded when I’ve been exercising for a while.

It was shortly after this, though, that things got much worse. I was riding along, and all the sudden I heard a scraping noise and my butt dropped about two inches. The bike all the sudden felt very wrong. I stopped to see what had happened and saw that my saddle was at an odd angle; it was pointed up — the saddle had slipped. I didn’t have any bike repair tools on me, although even if I had, I’m not entirely certain I could have made the repair; I still suck at bike mechanics. I thought about heading back to the store and asking to use their phone (no, I have no cell phone) to call Hobgoblin and have him come get me, but I thought better of it. The bike was rideable after all, if a bit uncomfortable.

I was 14 miles from home at that point, kind of tired and annoyed, but I figured I could make it the rest of the way if I took it easy so as not to let the awkwardly-angled saddle cause me any muscle problems. I stood up as much as possible, and hoped that when other cyclists passed me (which they did, of course, in droves), that they wouldn’t notice the saddle and think I was an idiot who didn’t know what a bike should look like.

Everything was okay until I returned to the town having the parade. By now, they were in the middle of it. I thought I’d ride around it by taking a back road; I asked a police officer if I could ride through a road block they had set up, thinking I’d head in a different direction from the parade. He said sure, no problem, so I went ahead, and next thing I knew I was in the middle of the parade. The back road was no escape — it was the parade route itself.

If I were thinking straight, I probably would have turned around and gotten out of there, but I wasn’t, so I just kept riding. The parade was on my left and the spectators on my right, and if I thought the road was crowded the first time I went through, I realized it was really crowded this time. Little kids kept bouncing around dangerously close to my bike, and the vendors were even more in the way. People were throwing candy for the kids to pick up, and I kept accidentally riding over the pieces. I had to work to keep a line between the people parading and the people watching. A few people cheered for me. One kid yelled out “Go, Lance!”

And I just wanted to ride quietly home; the last thing I wanted was to make a spectacle of myself, with my ridiculous saddle and all! The spectators probably thought I was obnoxious for refusing to keep out of their way; I would have thought so, if I saw someone riding through a parade like that.

Sometimes it just all goes wrong, you know?

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A century?

I think I may try to ride a century this fall — a hundred miles in one ride. In a more typical year, I would have ridden a century last Sunday and would be planning to ride another one or two in the next month. These are organized rides that run on the same weekend every year and that have lots of support — a marked course, food and water along the way, mechanical support, lots of other riders, and usually a t-shirt and other free stuff. I usually spend July and early August doing progressively longer rides to get ready.

But this year my health got in the way, and the typical season got disrupted. So instead I thought I might try to do one on my own, probably in late October or early November. My riding has gotten steadily better over the last month, so that now I feel like I’m back to normal, just about — I’m not in race shape, by any means, but I can ride as well as or better than I could last January or February before I got in race shape.

And I need something to work toward, some sort of goal. I don’t need to be training for races right now, as those don’t start up again until March, but I don’t want to just ride either — I’d feel too purposeless. So working toward a century should do the trick. As to whether I can actually complete one, that will depend on my health and my free time and the weather.

A good number of riders I know have enough endurance to just ride a century, without elaborate preparation, but not me. I’m perfectly comfortable up to about 50 miles, and after that I get tired fast if I don’t train. The training I do for races doesn’t help at all, because most of my races are usually relatively short — 20-25 miles or so for the ones I’m best at. I spend most of the training season working on intensity, not endurance.

So I’ll try to do a series of long rides on the weekends in September and October; the longest I’ve done since I got sick was about 38 miles, so I’ll do a couple of 50-mile rides, a couple of 60-mile rides, maybe a 70-mile one and hopefully an 80-mile one, and then I’ll be more than ready. I’m lucky to have a marked century route that begins and ends practically at my front door, as I can be bad at making up my own routes — this route heads south for a bit before circling back to my town, and then follows a northern loop for the rest of the ride. There are plenty of convenience stores and delis to get food and water, so I won’t miss the food stops of an organized century.

We’ll see how I do!

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The perils of cycling

I’m used to bugs hitting and bouncing off my cycling jersey as I ride, and when that happens I’m just grateful they didn’t land on my face or — worse — in my mouth.  I’ve gotten stung in the mouth before, and it was no fun.  But today something else entirely hit my jersey.  I thought it was a bug, but when I checked to see if it had flown off my shoulder where I felt it hit, I noticed what it really was: bird shit.  This is the first time this has happened to me, and now I wonder why it doesn’t happen more often; I ride under trees all the time, after all.  I had another hour to ride before I made it home, and I could see it sitting on my shoulder every time I turned my head to the right.  Ick!

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Health and cycling update

I’m going to try to write this post really fast, before my eyes close and my forehead hits the keyboard — I’m on Benadryl, you see, and I’m very sleepy.  My recovery has hit a little snag; less than 5% of patients taking the medication I’m taking develop a rash, and it appears that I’m one of the lucky ones.  It’s not a bad rash, though — just a few red bumps and no itchiness.  But my doctor took me off the medication, and once my rash heals, we’ll try another kind.

But most of my news is good: I have been feeling much better lately, so much better that I’ve been riding regularly, say 4 or 5 times a week.  I don’t ride hard — I ride just how I feel like riding, so I’m not training, really, but I am keeping myself in decent shape for when I am ready to train again.  It’s been interesting to watch my average heart rate decrease over the course of the last few weeks, and my average speed increase (not that it’s all that fast though).  I’m not back to my normal numbers, but I’m getting closer.

It’s fun to let my body decide how hard it will work; when I first got on the bike, it didn’t want to work hard at all, but as I’ve gotten better, I find myself pushing more.  It’s odd, really, the way my body can take over and guide my ride, deciding how I’ll work or not work, and I really don’t feel it’s a conscious decision at all.

Okay, nap time …

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Riding and reading

Yes, I rode my bike yesterday. No, it wasn’t a good idea. I thought I’d try, just to see what it felt like, particularly since I’ve felt the tiniest bit better because of the medication I’m on. But it will take longer than a week on medication to feel well enough to ride, I’m seeing. I was able to ride for 45 minutes or so, but my heart rate was high the whole time and I felt achy and sore. I’m sure I’ll try again in the next few weeks — I’m always curious to see whether I’ve improved or not and I don’t feel like I’ll know unless I try to ride — but no, I’m sure it’s not a good idea. I don’t see my endocrinologist until August 23rd, though, and does anybody really think I’m going to wait that long to try riding again?

But what I really want to write about are two books I’ve recently finished. The first is Roger Shattuck’s Proust’s Way, a book of criticism on In Search of Lost Time. I recommend this if you are looking for an overview of the novel. I don’t recommend it if you don’t want plot spoilers, because he talks about the book as a whole, including much discussion of the ending and plot developments in the middle. But plot spoilers aside, it’s got background information on Proust; an overview of the plot, characters, and setting; chapters covering Proust’s main themes, as Shattuck sees them; and a number of cool charts and diagrams.

Some parts of this book are rather odd (I give another example in this post); toward the end of the book, he includes a fictional element — a made-up dialogue between a radio journalist and producer, a Proust scholar, and a grad student in French. These people are supposedly putting together a radio program on Proust. Shattuck says he included this section because he believes that usual expository prose can’t say everything. I rather like this idea — that some things are better said in fictional form — but I can’t quite see that this is true in Shattuck’s case. Instead, the dialogue struck me as so highly improbable that I almost laughed my way through it. Shattuck should stick to his expository prose. But still, the book is worth picking up to start to get a handle on In Search of Lost Time.

The other book I wanted to mention is Geraldine Brooks’ novel The Year of Wonders, which turned out to be a fascinating and enjoyable read. I say it’s fascinating because it takes place in a small town in England in 1666 that gets hit hard with the plague — and I find the plague fascinating. It’s not a book to read at the dinner table, let me make clear.

The story is about Anna Frith, a young servant girl who grows and matures as she deals with the ravages the plague brings to her village. She has been fortunate enough to learn how to read and write, and she has a sensitivity and openness perhaps unusual to one in her station in that time period. She’s an interesting narrator (it’s told in the first person); she admires the intelligent, knowledgeable women in her town but fears them also as they are always in danger of being branded witches. As well as telling about the plague, the novel tells how old customs — midwives who presided at the birth of babies, women who possessed ancient folk remedies and healing powers — were both enjoyed and feared. When times were good, the townspeople would welcome women’s knowledge and powers, but when times turn bad, they lash out at these women and destroy them — at their peril.

The ending is a bit odd, but otherwise, this is a thoroughly enjoyable book — it’s great history and a good story all in one.

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Diagnosis

This is just a brief post about my health; I’ll be back to books soon. I just finished Boswell’s Presumptuous Task and would like to write about it — it’s a wonderful book.

But for now — today I learned I don’t have Lyme disease; instead it’s the thyroid problem that was the other alternative my doctor offered. Now that I know the diagnosis, I can see it makes sense. I didn’t have the aches and pains or the headache that are common with Lyme. Mostly what I had was a fast heart rate and some fatigue, which is what you’d find with hyperthyroidism. So now I go to the endocrinologist to find out what kind of hyperthyroidism I have, and then probably I’ll go on medication. My doctor gave me a beta-blocker to keep my heart rate lower until I get a firm diagnosis and a treatment plan.  I can feel my heart slowing down already.

I went to watch Hobgoblin ride in his race tonight; once again I was longing to be in the pack. In spite of my envy of those healthy riders, I had fun watching the race, and Hobgoblin and I hung out for quite a long time afterward talking to people, many of whom asked how I’m doing and offered a lot of sympathy.

I’m not sure when I’ll ride again, but it may be soon; lately I’ve been too sick to even think of getting out there, but it may not be too long until I’m ready to venture out again.

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Not racing (whiny)

I don’t like not racing. I’ve been sort of sick for the last week or so and sat out the race today and I didn’t finish the race last week. I don’t know what’s wrong with me; I may have overtrained and now need a break — I rode very hard two weekends ago and may not have let myself recover sufficiently. Or I may be fighting off a virus, or something like that. I’m not sure. But my heart rate is unusually high and I feel weak and tired. I’m not good at backing off the exercise — all last week I wasn’t feeling quite right, but I ignored it and rode a couple times and did a lot of walking and some vigorous yoga. Maybe I’m in need of a real, serious break.

Anyway, while I generally like watching bike races, I don’t like watching them when I’m not able to ride myself. The riders look like they are having so much fun and the pack looks so pretty gliding around the course that I really want to join them. I went to the race this evening to watch Hobgoblin ride, and that was fine, I like watching him ride, but it’s also a reminder that I’m not able to do it myself. Other racers ask me why I’m not racing, and I have to explain, and a couple of them told me that they weren’t feeling well themselves but decided to race anyway — which was not exactly fun to hear. And then I listen to my teammates discuss the race afterward, and they are so full of adrenaline, having so much fun dissecting the dynamics of the race, and I’m jealous. Mostly, though, I’m annoyed because my training is all messed up, and I don’t know when I’ll feel like training again.

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I’m back …

I’m going to settle down to reading soon because I haven’t done a whole lot of it over the last few days, but I wanted to write just a few words about my trip home first. Hobgoblin and I rode 100 miles over the course of the two full days we were gone, 60 one day and 40 the next; both times we followed a course that took us along the shore of Lake Ontario.  The landscape is beautiful; it felt so different from what I’m used to in Connecticut — the land is flatter and more open, with more farmland and fewer trees so we could see the whole sky and a long way up the road ahead of us.  I always think of myself as a person who loves hills and mountains, but I was surprised to find myself loving the flat, open country.  I haven’t visited the area in summer in a long time, and I found I had forgotten how pretty it is.

But today my legs hurt … the landscape was wonderful, but the wind was not.  We had an easy time riding out, but once we turned to head home, we faced the wind and had a hard time of it.  My average speed dropped two miles an hour at least.  There’s nothing more demoralizing than working super hard just to crawl along at a slow pace.  I’m not used to riding on relatively flat roads either and it felt different; I’m used to coasting down hills now and then, and when I can’t coast and do nothing but pedal for hours and hours I hurt.

But that’s not the only cycling news I have — Hobgoblin and I went to watch a bike race in downtown Rochester on Saturday night and had a fabulous time; I’ve never seen so many spectators and such excitement at a bike race before.  This was a race we considered riding in, until I discovered it would conflict with my brother’s graduation party, so we went to the party and checked out the pro races afterward.  I can’t say I regret not being able to race, though, because the course looked difficult; it had seven or eight corners, including one hairpin turn, and just thinking about riding them at speed terrified me.  We may ride in the race next year, but I’m already nervous about it — cornering is not my strength!  We had so much fun , though, watching the the tail end of the women’s pro race and the full two hours of the men’s; we walked around the course a couple times, analyzing how the riders took the corners, watching them lean over frighteningly far.  Spectators lined the course the whole way around, cheering the riders on; it’s an amazing course, really, because from most places you can see two different sections of it, including two bridges that cross the Genessee River.  If I can get up the nerve, I think I’ll have fun riding on it.

But now I’m off to read … and I’ll be back posting on books soon.

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Eileen Chang’s Love in a Fallen City

218ht7ekj0l_aa180_.jpgFirst, let me say that I am SO HAPPY to be sitting quietly in my study doing nothing right now. I rode the hardest race of the season this morning, and now I’m beat (riding seems to be good for my back and neck, at least in the short term — they are feeling much better). It was a hilly road race, and while I didn’t do all that well, getting dropped on a particularly nasty hill, I did better than last year, when I got dropped on one of the foothills of the particularly nasty hill, and that’s really all I was hoping for. If you’d like to hear more about these vicious hills, read Hobgoblin. All I have to say about it is that hills suck.

But I wanted to write about Eileen Chang’s Love in a Fallen City, a collection of novellas and stories. Most of them were first published in China in 1944 in a book called Romances, and they have been reissued by the wonderful NYRB Classics. I got off to a tiny bit of a slow start with the first novella, but after that I gobbled these stories up; they are gripping tales of love, family, and politics — often about the conflict among these three things. Chang lived through and wrote about political and social turmoil; the title novella takes place in a besieged Hong Kong, where scenes of violence strengthen the main character Liusu’s shaky romance and settle her uncertain future. This is not to belittle the political turmoil of the time, but to show how it can affect individual people:

Hong Kong’s defeat had brought Liusu victory. But in this unreasonable world, who can distinguish cause from effect? Who knows which is which? Did a great city fall so that she could be vindicated? Countless thousands of people dead, countless thousands of people suffering, after than an earth-shaking revolution … Liusu didn’t feel there was anything subtle about her place in history.

Liusu’s “victory” is getting her lover to marry her, therefore ensuring a comfortable future and no loss of social status. In these stories, love often seems indistinguishable from war — whether it takes place in a besieged city or not, love and courtship can be a fight for one’s life.

Chang also writes about the conflict between traditional family structures and customs and the modern world that’s threatening them. One of the things that’s fascinating about this book is the glimpse it gives into a world where family members refer to each other as “Ninth Old Master” or “Second Mistress” or “Third Brother,” where a matchmaker arranges marriages, and where one’s status in society can determine one’s life. But the stories also tell of characters who are struggling to be modern, such as Zhenbao in the novella “Red Rose, White Rose,” who was “the ideal modern Chinese man”:

Never had a son been more filial, more considerate, than Zhenbao was to his mother; never was a brother more thoughtful or helpful to his siblings. At work he was the most hard-working and devoted of colleagues; to his friends, the kindest, truest, and most generous of men. Zhenbao’s life was a complete success. If he had believed in reincarnation — he didn’t — he’d have hoped simply to pick up a new name, then come back and live the same life all over again.

Zhenbao came from a poor family but worked hard to create a better life for himself; Chang describes him as the perfect Western self-made man. But — and this should be no surprise, for if an author describes a character’s life as perfect in the beginning of a story, it simply must get shaken up — Zhenbao cannot be “modern” in the sense of following all his desires. He is unhappy with his wife but feels he cannot pursue the woman he loves; he is torn between romance and loyalty to family and friends. He is in many ways a traditional man wanting to be free of tradition, but unable to make himself so.

The gender dynamics are a little hard to take, which is no surprise, as the book describes a society that is still old-fashioned in many ways; what I’m uncertain about is Chang’s take on the subject. Occasionally, the narrator will step in and say something about “what women are like,” which tends not to be very flattering, and I don’t know if this is Chang talking to us, or if she is speaking for the culture and not for herself. It’s not easy to detect Chang’s presence in this book — what her views are on the stories she tells.

The writing is captivating, although it follows a rhythm that feels unusual to me — many of the stories cover large sweeps of time, decades in a character’s life perhaps, and Chang will offer a scene for a few pages that gives all kinds of detail and moves through time slowly, and then she’ll sum up years in a short sentence or two. The narratives move abruptly. This is not a flaw; it just takes some getting used to.

For more information on this book, check out Scott Esposito’s interview with Chang’s translator Karen S. Kingsbury and Orpheus’s interesting post on Chang and popularity.

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Apparently, I won a silver medal

I didn’t write about Saturday’s race because it felt pretty uneventful — I rode with category 3 and 4 women and finished somewhere in the middle of the pack, a little towards the back.  I felt uncomfortable pretty much the whole race because I didn’t like the corners; once again I’ve discovered that I need to practice cornering.  I’m particularly bad when I have to make left turns, which this course makes you do; I’m not sure why, but I’m much slower and more awkward turning left than I am turning right.  And I witnessed a nasty crash in the middle of my race on one of those awkward corners — last I saw one of the women who went down was lying on her side with a neck brace on, waiting to be moved onto a stretcher to go to the hospital.  So after the race I rode straight to the car and we went home — it was late anyway, and I was eager to be done with it all.

Well, today I checked out the results online, and it turns out I won a silver medal — and it turns out that I was 22nd out of 34 finishers.  Here’s how both of those things can be true: the category 3 and 4 women ride together but they get scored separately, so although 21 people finished ahead of me, only six of them were category 4 riders, so I got 7th in my field.  And then this particular race awards medals to the top 3 Connecticut riders, and I happened to be the second category 4 rider from Connecticut to cross the line (the others were from Massachusetts or Rhode Island), so I won a medal!  But I don’t have it because I ducked out of there so quickly.  Oops.

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Lionel Shriver’s The Post-Birthday World

12314620.gif It seems like it’s been a long time since I’ve written a substantive post on books; actually, it seems like it’s been a while since I’ve been truly absorbed in a book at all. I read a bit here and there, but mostly I’ve been busy doing this and that (retreats, visits with friends, errand-running), and I’ve been on a manic exercise kick that keeps me busy. For those of you who follow my races, last night’s race went very well; it was the longest, fastest race so far this season, and I stayed with the pack the whole time. I didn’t even work all that terribly hard to do it. Don’t get me wrong — I was definitely working — but it wasn’t kill-myself working. This weekend’s race got postponed, so the next race is Tuesday, which means I have some days available to do some long rides. I hope to begin tomorrow.

But, yeah, I’m going to write about books. I finished Lionel Shriver’s The Post-Birthday World last week and can report that I liked the experience very much; this is my first Shriver novel, but probably not my last (I need to read Double Fault next, if only because it’s got women athletes in it). It was a gripping novel, one I was happy reading for hours at a time, and, at over 500 pages, one that lasts a while too. It’s got three main characters, and we stay with them and only them for most of the novel; there are other minor characters here and there, but mostly it’s a lot of time with those three people. So, as you can probably guess, there’s lots and lots of character analysis, lots of relationship analysis, lots of scenes of agonized and agonizing dialogue and critique and confession. There are lots of fights and frustration and anger. It could feel claustrophic, all that time in a fairly narrow world, but it didn’t feel that way to me. Or maybe that’s just the way life is — a lot of time spent thinking about just a few relationships.

The main character, Irina, is practically married, although not quite, to Lawrence — they’ve been together many years but have never gotten around to the ceremony — and early in the novel (I won’t give anything much away) Irina is tempted to kiss Ramsay Acton, a snooker star, on his birthday. What happens is that two versions of the “post-birthday world” arise — one where she does kiss him, and one where she doesn’t. From that point on, the narrative splits into two strands, one following each world and each one narrated in alternating chapters. We get to see how things work out each way.

Shriver has a lot of fun (or it strikes me that it would have been fun) narrating the two worlds side-by-side; things are different in each world, obviously, but not as different as we might think. A lot of the same things happen in each version, but not always done by the same person or with the same meaning. Similar conversations take place, but the dialogue gets spoken by different people; Irina finds some successes and some failures in one world, and mirroring ones in the other; the roles of victim and victimizer, betrayer and betrayed shift around. It’s hard to say which world is better, and surely that’s part of the point — that the decisions we make can seem so very significant and life-changing, but from a larger perspective perhaps don’t make as much difference as we think.

I was struck throughout the novel at what jerks both Lawrence and Ramsay could be; although they are very different types of people, which is why Irina has such trouble making up her mind about them (she says at one point that they would be perfect combined into one man), they both tend to treat her badly, bossing her around, judging her, not letting her be herself. I’m not sure what to make of this — are we supposed to feel bad for Irina, that even though she loves both of these men, and they each make her happy in their own, very different ways, she doesn’t seem realize just what controlling bastards they can be? I wanted her to figure more of that out, to complain about it more, but she tends to accept their criticism and their pettiness and to blame herself, as though she’s constantly making mistakes, when she’s not.  I suppose this isn’t really a complaint about the novel, since the story is told from Irina’s point of view (third person, but following her consciousness), and it’s part of Irina’s character not to stick up for herself as much as she might, but it was painful to read about nonetheless.

At times I thought the writing was a bit sloppy; the point of view didn’t always seem consistent — it was told from Irina’s perspective, but sometimes a voice would intrude, saying things that Irina wouldn’t, in order to get across some information. But that’s a minor quibble. Mostly I was enthralled with this very close look at love and romance, at the varied types of love different relationships can offer, at the effects of time on any relationship.

It turns out that Charlotte has recently read this book too; make sure not to miss her post on it.

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Riding and Hiking

Now is the time when the crazy exercising begins — yay! It’s the time when Hobgoblin and I do day-long hikes and hours-long rides, sometimes for days in a row. I’ve ridden the last four days in a row, including a race today; tomorrow we’re going to hike 14 miles over three mountains (it’s Hobgoblin’s birthday tomorrow!); Tuesday I’m going to race again, and then I hope to ride at least four more times before the end of the week, ideally two of those rides lasting for over four hours. This will be fun.

The race today went pretty well. Hobgoblin and I drove up to Hartford to ride in their criterium; I’d watched races there before, but this is the first time I actually rode on the course. It was a women’s open race, which meant I was riding with women from all categories — which meant it was a fast race. I had no idea how I would do, as the last women’s open race I rode in was last year in my first race ever, which turned out to be a disaster (I got dropped after about two laps).

Mostly I hoped not to embarrass myself, which I most definitely did not; I finished the race with the pack. I got only 30th place out of 42 starters, but the point for me was to finish with the pack, not necessarily at the front of it. I felt pretty good throughout, but going through the corners in the last lap I didn’t have a whole lot of strength left to sprint with — and if you’re nowhere near the front of the pack, it really doesn’t make sense to sprint anyway, since you’d be sprinting for something like 30th place, which doesn’t mean much, and you put yourself in danger of crashing.

What I learned is that I need more practice riding fast through corners; I noticed that I slowed down too much at the corners and began to slip back farther in the pack, and then once I was through the corner, I had to speed up to catch up with everybody else. That takes too much energy. I just don’t have a whole lot of practice cornering; the criterium course in my town doesn’t have difficult corners, so they are new to me. I also need to be a bit more aggressive; I let other people jump in front of me too easily.

So, enjoy your holiday everyone!

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Race report

I’ve been sitting in my study for quite a while now, reading blogs and aimlessly surfing the internet, wondering if I feel up to posting or even up to pulling a book off the shelf. See, I’m sitting here once again with aching legs. I feel like I’ve complained about the aching legs an awful lot lately. Today’s race was tough, although I had fun and felt okay afterward. But it was a road race with a good-sized hill, which always spells trouble for me.

Hobgoblin and I drove almost two hours, out to the edge of Connecticut at the Rhode Island border, getting up at 5:00 (5:30 in my case) to do it. The race course was beautiful; it was Connecticut countryside at its best, with rolling hills and lots of open space. There was no women’s race, so I rode with the Category 5 men — I was one of only two women out there. The race had a long neutral start — meaning that we rode a section of the course slowly, following a pace car that made sure nobody was pushing the pace. I’m not entirely sure why they do this, actually, except that perhaps it’s safer and more orderly.  The neutral start took us all the way up the course’s main hill, 1 kilometer long, and the race itself started at the top.

I was so grateful for that long neutral start, because without it I would have been dropped immediately. I did fine on all the rest of the course for the first lap, but when we came around to that monster hill the second time — the first time actually racing it — I got dropped. Sigh. Thank God I fell in with a few other riders right away, so I didn’t have to ride the rest of the race by myself — that would have sucked, because there’s no point in driving all that way to ride by myself, when I can do that any time I want at home. But I found 4 or 5 riders riding at about my pace, and we stuck together until we climbed the monster hill for the last time up to the finish line, when I got dropped again.

This is about what I expected to happen, so I wasn’t disappointed, just grateful to have found other people going my speed. I’ve been trying to work on my hill climbing, but I don’t think I’m working hard enough. I climb hills all the time, but it’s too easy to let myself back off rather than making myself push hard. Ugh — I see more hill climbing practice in my future.

Anyway, I wasn’t DFL, as the cyclists say, dead fucking last. That always makes me happy.

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