TBR challenge: Rosalind Belbin

So Emily’s TBR challenge, where we’re supposed to read 20 books from our TBR piles and post on them? I’m doing awesomely well (as long as I ignore the part of the challenge that says we aren’t supposed to buy any more books, which I’ve ignored from the very beginning, practically). I have now read or attempted to read 17 of the books on my list and am in the middle of the 18th. Oh, I haven’t quite posted on every book, but I’ve posted on almost every book, which is pretty good. You can see my progress in the sidebar on the right.

The one book on the list that I started but didn’t finish is Rosalind Belbin’s Our Horses in Egypt. I was sorry about setting that one aside. I knew it would be a bit of a challenge, and I was fine with that, but it turned out not to be the kind of challenge I wanted. I made it maybe 100 pages into the book before I quit. I like the idea behind the book, which is that it switches back and forth between stories, moving from a woman who travels to Egypt in the years after World War I to find her horse who had been requisitioned for use in the army, and the story of what happened to that horse, Philomena, during the war. The sections telling Philomena’s story are interesting because Belbin captures a sensibility that seems somehow just right. The perspective is a close third person, and even though we don’t really know what a horse experiences, the attempt to capture it here felt genuine.

But the style wasn’t working for me, unfortunately. Belbin throws a lot of information at the reader without much explanation, details of the war scenes especially, and it’s hard to piece all the details together. There’s a disjointed feeling to it all. The paragraphs tended to be short and often not clearly connected to each other. Although I liked much about the Philomena sections, the confusing details were particularly a problem in these sections. I can appreciate that perhaps Belbin was trying to capture Philomena’s experience for the reader — the confusion and uncertainty she was experiencing as she had little idea what was going on — but still, that appreciation wasn’t enough to justify continuing to read.

It’s not that I don’t want to work a little when I read. Virginia Woolf’s Jacob’s Room was similarly disconnected in style and required work on the part of the reader to piece everything together. But I was interested in the ideas in that book in a way I wasn’t in Belbin’s. There was something about the mood and atmosphere of each book that kept me interested in one but not in the other.

Several other readers of this book really loved it, though, so if you have thought about reading this one, don’t discount it because of me. I just never clicked with it in the way I wanted to, and I’m trying to be better about setting books aside when they aren’t working for me.

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Then We Came to the End

I finished Joshua Ferris’s 2007 novel Then We Came to the End recently and found it a pleasure to read. A friend recommended it to me because of its portrayal of the workplace and because of its interesting point of view, and I liked the book on both counts. The novel takes place almost entirely in an advertising agency and is about a group of “creatives,” or the people who dream up ideas for ads. It tells about workplace habits and rituals, crazy colleagues, scary bosses, endless gossip, and, after a while, layoffs. Most of my jobs haven’t been typical 9-5 office jobs, but still I could recognize the world Ferris describes, and he’s captured it perfectly.

It starts off at a leisurely pace, describing the main characters and their quirks and telling some of the most famous stories, as though author and reader were taking part in one long gossip session. All this is funny and insightful. The characters do their work but have plenty of time left over for hanging out in each other’s offices, dreaming up jokes and pranks, and sometimes carrying on flirtations or trying to recover from workplace love affairs gone wrong. You don’t get a whole lot of information of the lives the characters lead outside of work, just brief summaries. Instead, work seems like their whole world, even though they see their time outside the office as precious. Work is what gives them a feeling of belonging and purpose, and even though they love their weekends, in this novel, it’s the weekdays that are full of life.

Once the layoffs start, the tension picks up, as everyone wonders who will be next and how they will manage to fill their time and look busy, when there isn’t much work. There are other sources of tension as well, particularly with their boss, Lynn, who may or may not be desperately ill. Everyone begins to wonder whether some of their more unstable colleagues who have been laid off might not return to revenge themselves on the people who cast them out. There’s a clear dividing line between the days, set in the boom years of the 1990s, when success and money came easily, and the harder times at the turn of the century where worry and suspicion began to take over. This isn’t really a 9/11 novel, but Ferris deals with the day in an understated way that’s powerful and effective.

Besides all the workplace stuff, the other thing the book is interesting for is its point of view, which is first person plural. The narrator says “we” and “us” all the way through, as though it were the collective voice of the agency speaking. This captures the sense of community — even a troubled one — that exists in the office and also the feeling that gossip is what unites the place more than the work they do. Reading “we knew,” “we heard,” “we believed,” “we gathered” over and over again makes it feel like the people don’t so much have individual identities as that they find their identity through participation in the group. As more and more people quit or are let go, this sense of the group becomes strained — it’s their world falling apart.

I don’t imagine it’s easy to use this unusual point of view so consistently through an entire novel, but Ferris pulls it off perfectly.

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Thus Was Adonis Murdered

I was a little worried when I began Sarah Caudwell’s Thus Was Adonis Murdered for my mystery book group because Hobgoblin had not liked the book at all. We don’t always agree on books, but we agree often enough to give me reason to worry. And the critiques he made sounded like ones I might make too. But as it turns out, this is one of those books we don’t agree on, and I ended up liking it a lot. The book has a very strong and distinctive voice, which means that if you don’t take to the voice, you will hate the book. Fortunately for me, it was a voice I found amusing.

The book was published in 1981 (although I kept feeling it was set in an earlier time — it didn’t feel like the 1980s), and is about a group of young barristers in London, one of whom, Julia, travels to Venice on vacation with a group of art lovers, one of whom is murdered. Julia has been taken in for questioning. The barristers back in London worried about Julia traveling to Venice because of her extreme lack of practicality and street smarts. They were right to worry, but nobody expected she would be accused of murder.

The book never actually takes us to Venice, however, except in letters. The main action all takes place back in London and is narrated by a person named Hilary whose gender is never specified (although I sort of forgot that men can be named Hilary and assumed it was a woman until I read Emily’s post on the book). It’s Hilary’s voice that you will most likely either love or hate; Hilary is an Oxford don and is friends with the London barristers, although not really a part of their group. Hilary is obsessed with scholarship and the logical and investigative skills that come with being a scholar, although also curiously willing to forgo actually doing scholarship when something more exciting comes along. You can catch a bit of the novel’s tone and its humor from one of my favorite passages:

On my first day in London I made an early start. Reaching the Public Record Office not much after ten, I soon secured the papers needed for my research and settled into place. I became, as is the way of the scholar, so deeply absorbed as to lose all consciousness of my surroundings or of the passage of time. When at last I came to myself it was almost eleven, and I was quite exhausted: I knew I could not prudently continue without refreshment.

Hilary is self-obsessed and self-important, but is a willing and able guide through the story, and in fact takes on the role of guide self-consciously, telling us early on who solves the murder (Hilary) and speaking to us directly to give clues as to how the story is put together.

What I particularly liked about the novel, in addition to the tone and the humor, is the fact that so much of it is made up of letters. Julia writes Selena, one of the barristers, long letters telling her experiences, and the group sits around while Selena reads them out loud. The letters are interrupted by commentary and discussion from the group, so we get not only the story as told by Julia, but also the reactions of the barristers who already know about the murder and can read the letters for clues. The mystery is solved from this reading, as Hilary smugly reveals to everyone at the end.

I also liked Julia’s character — she is bumbling and disaster-prone (or at least this is how the barristers characterize her; it’s possible to wonder how fair they are being), but she is a brilliant tax lawyer and a beautiful, sexually-forthright woman who hopes for some erotic adventures on her trip. It is clear that she is not looking for romance, but instead wants sex, and she is made impatient by the fact that men might actually want women to pay attention to their minds rather than just their bodies. In a letter to Selena, she writes:

It is your view, as I understand it, that when dealing with young men one should make no admission, in the early stages, of the true nature of one’s objectives but instead should profess a deep admiration for their fine souls and splendid intellects. One is not to be discouraged, if I have understood you correctly, by the fact that they may have neither. I reminded myself, therefore, that if I could get the lovely creature into conversation, I must make no comment on the excellence of his profile and complexion but should apply myself to showing a sympathetic interest in his hopes, dreams, and aspirations.

The bending of gender stereotypes is great fun, and one of the book’s interests is finding out whether Julia finds her wishes fulfilled.

I’ll admit there were parts of the ending I didn’t find convincing, but by that point it didn’t really matter — the fun of the book is in its humor and its structure and the plotting felt almost incidental.

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More good books: Manservant and Maidservant

I had hoped to post on Ivy Compton-Burnett’s novel Manservant and Maidservant in time for the Slaves of Golconda group read, but I didn’t get the book read on time and was on vacation anyway. But I wanted to write about it at least briefly. It’s kind of an odd book, in a good way, and it made me think a lot about dialogue and conversation. The book has tons of dialogue in it and much of it struck me as the sort of conversation you wouldn’t hear in real life. But I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing. It seems to me there is a kind of novelistic dialogue that is unrealistic in a bad way — painfully awkward, stilted, florid, dull, etc. But there is a kind of unrealistic dialogue that is … interesting and that serves some larger point. I’m not entirely sure what the larger point here is, but somehow the dialogue, strange as it sometimes is, reveals important truths about the characters and gets ideas out on the page in a dramatic way.

The novel has a very tight focus — one main family with children and servants, one other family and a couple other characters and that’s it. The book is made up of conversations and some narration to connect all the talk. There is little context — little description of places, no historical or social background, not much but talk and internal conflict. This means that we are thrown into the world of relationships.

It’s the fact that these relationships are so interesting that makes this book work. As you would guess from the title, master/servant relationships are a big focus; the servants argue amongst themselves about their status relative to each other and also to their employers. The family gossips and worries about what the servants are doing. But the biggest source of conflict comes from the father, Horace Lamb, who terrorizes his wife, his cousin, his servants, and his five children. He makes their lives miserable through his miserliness, pestering, and suspicion. The novel’s plot lies in the telling of how the family responds to this abuse. What was so fascinating is that it captures little interactions between people in a way that seems perfectly true to life, even if the dialogue does not. It portrays jealousy, anger, sadness, suspicion, love, regret, hope, disappointment, and much else in a manner I don’t think I’ve seen in a novel before.

I wonder, though, about my claim that the dialogue is unrealistic. The number of people I have talked to or overheard in my life is very, very small compared to the number of people out there talking, so who am I to say that people don’t really talk that way?

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Cycling update

Much of the story of my cycling year so far I can tell using just a few numbers:

  • Total yearly mileage 2007 (the first year I have a full record): 4,226
  • Total yearly mileage 2008: 4,339
  • Total yearly mileage 2009: 5,097
  • Total mileage so far in 2010 (as of August 17th): 4,393

So yeah, I’ve been riding a lot this year. I’m on track to crush last year’s record, and I’ve already beaten my records from the previous two years.

This was the year I was going to forget about mileage goals and just ride as much as I wanted to. And that’s exactly what I’ve done. But instead of riding less than last year, I’ve ridden much more. I’m still not riding with any kind of mileage goal in mind (or any goal at all, of whatever sort), but it turns out that when I decide to ride just as much as I want to and no more, I end up riding a ton.

It doesn’t hurt that I’m spending much of my training time riding with my cycling BFF, who completed one Ironman triathlon in July and is doing another one in October. That means a lot of miles. A lot. I suppose if I have one goal this year, it’s to keep enough fitness so that I can keep up with her. These days that means I’m working pretty hard, but it’s so much fun, it’s exactly what I want to do.

As for races, I haven’t done one in quite a while. I did the six training races in March and April that I usually do, I did three road races, and then I did a few summer training races and that’s it. And I’ve liked the way it’s worked out. I haven’t given up racing entirely, but I’ve slowed down the pace a lot, focused on just a handful of races, and spent the rest of the time just riding. I may follow a similar method next year.

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More good books — Stoner

There are a couple more books from this summer that I wanted to mention as being particularly good. First of all, John Williams’s novel Stoner was an excellent read. It’s not at all what you might think based on the title, having nothing to do with drugs and instead being about academia and midwestern American life. William Stoner is the novel’s protagonist, a man who grows up on a farm with limited prospects, until his father learns that Stoner can go to the University of Missouri to study agriculture and bring his knowledge back home to help improve the family farm. Stoner heads off to school with the best of intentions but — through a pretty harrowing class experience — decides he wants to study English literature instead. He graduates and goes on to earn a Ph.D., eventually becoming a professor and spending his life in academia. The novel charts the ups and downs of his career and his family life.

That all sounds straightforward, and the novel is written in a simple, realistic style that doesn’t draw attention to itself. But the story is devastating. Stoner marries a woman he shouldn’t and unintentionally makes enemies with a powerful colleague and finds himself struggling and unhappy. And there is not much he can or will do about it. It’s a novel of quiet struggle, capturing a time and a culture when people endured rather than rebelling or running away. An early scene in the novel when he tells his parents that he will not be returning to the farm but instead is going to go to graduate school captures this devastatingly: he hadn’t given his parents a hint of the blow that he was about to give them, and when they receive it they are shocked but mute — they don’t have the words to say what they are thinking and feeling. They have never really talked to each other and don’t know how to begin. So, they just quietly part, heartbroken.

This is an academic novel, but it’s unlike any other I’ve read. It deals with questions of the role of the university and the value of scholarship, but the point is not to skewer academia or to laugh at it, as so many academic novels do. Instead, it paints a picture of a man who is trying his best and who takes what opportunities come his way, but finds there is only so far he can travel, that he can’t leave his past behind, and that life can trap him, in spite of his best efforts. It sounds depressing, and I suppose it is, but the experience of reading the book didn’t feel that way. It has the ring of truth to it, harsh as it may be.

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What shall I read next?

I finished up my mystery book group selection a couple nights ago: Sarah Caudwell’s Thus Was Adonis Murdered. We are meeting tomorrow night, so perhaps I will write about that soon. Last night I read a decent-sized chunk of the biography I’m in the middle of: Richard Holmes’s Coleridge: Darker Reflections. I am really enjoying it, even if it is quite grim. It’s not called Darker Reflections for nothing. I was planning on reading steadily in it until I finished or got close, but it’s just slightly too heavy to be my default read — by which I mean the book I read to relax and the one I feel I can read in for hours, if need be. I always have something going in that category, and it’s usually a novel.

So it’s time to pick up a novel, it seems. I’ve been thinking about Eva’s post on reading at whim lately, a concept I can really get behind. I’m in the mood to read exactly what I want without thinking about reading plans or what I should read or whether I’m challenging myself enough. I have some reading I have to do for school, and I’d prefer that all other reading be exactly what I want and nothing else.

This brings up a little problem for me, though, because I’ve been realizing that reading at whim isn’t easy when 1. my whims change frequently, 2. I’m a slow reader, 3. I like to finish books I start, except in rare cases, and 4. I prefer not to have a huge pile of books I’m in the middle of to suit my every mood. That would be too confusing. The problem is a lot of times that the whim of one day is entirely different from the whim of the next or the day after, at which point I’m still in the middle of the book I began following my whim on day 1. I’m sorely tempted to pick up Margaret Oliphant’s The Perpetual Curate, thanks to Amateur Reader, but it’s a long book, and what if I get in the mood for something short and contemporary a few days from now? I’m sometimes in the mood to read something challenging, but what if just a couple days from now, I need something easy? I’d rather not put a book down in the middle of it if I’m not hating it, and I don’t want to just keep adding books to the pile of ones I’m currently reading, so it seems I can read at whim only now and then.

That’s why I agonize about what I’m going to pick up next, I suppose. So, off to the shelves …

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And now back to reading

It’s felt like an odd summer as far as my reading goes, largely because while I like to take on a challenge or two in the summer, something long and difficult (Infinite Jest last year for example), it hasn’t happened this time around. I had hoped to read Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow, but the time never seemed right to pick it up. Instead I stuck to shorter books and then did some reading for a class in world literature I’m teaching this fall.

One book I read that could count as a challenging book, although it’s not terribly long, is Jacob’s Room by Virginia Woolf, as part of my effort to read through her major works in order. I’ve been a little scared of Woolf’s more experimental fiction after trying to read The Waves quite a lot of years ago and not doing very well with it. I love To the Lighthouse and Mrs. Dalloway, but my impression was that Jacob’s Room might defeat me just as The Waves did. Well, I ended up enjoying it greatly, and it makes me wonder how I will do with The Waves when I get there for a reread. It was definitely a challenge, with quick shifts in perspective and time and without a whole lot of explanation to help get the you get situated in each new scene. Woolf lets you make connections on your own without spelling them out. The book demands that you read slowly.

But the writing was so beautiful, and, most importantly to me, it had the insights about people and relationships and experience that I value so much in Woolf. She can capture a moment and a feeling so perfectly and describe it so accurately that I’m left thinking, yes, that’s it, that’s exactly right, there’s no need so say anything else.

The Common Reader is next, and while I’ve read it before, I loved it so much the first time around, I’m anticipating loving it again.

Another book from earlier this summer that stands out is Rosamund Lehmann’s Invitation to the Waltz. This is my third Lehmann book; the first one I read I loved (A Note in Music), but the second one I didn’t (The Echoing Grove — it felt like a slog), so I was happy to find that I’m back to loving her writing again. Invitation to the Waltz is thoroughly charming, and it also does what I admire Woolf for doing, which is to say, it looks closely at a small group of people and digs in deep. The novel tells the story of two sisters as they prepare for and then attend a waltz. That seems really simple, and yet so much goes on — there is so much the sisters think about, experience, agonize over, and analyze, and the drama of it all, quiet as it is, is really moving. Lehmann is a writer I look forward to reading more of, perhaps someone whose work I will read in its entirety.

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What I’ve Been Doing, Part 2

It’s been a remarkably busy summer, and a fun one, and of course it’s not over yet, although I am buckling down to write syllabi and make plans for the fall semester. I kept myself busy in the first part of the summer by teaching a class, but it was an online one, which meant that while I worked hard at it, I could work from the comfort of my study. It’s the only way to teach a summer class, I’ve decided. Then, a little bit after the summer class ended, I was off to West Virginia for a week-long mountain vacation with my family — parents and siblings. I did some hiking, some bike riding, lots of card playing, and a little sight-seeing. I also played a bit with my 1 1/2-year old niece.

Then I was home for five days before Hobgoblin and I headed out for two weeks in the Adirondacks, Vermont, and Maine. This feels totally decadent to me, because I’m not used to spending that much time away from home, but the opportunities came up, everything lined up in the right way, and off Hobgoblin and I went. We traveled to Lake Placid in the Adirondacks to watch my cycling friend compete in an Ironman triathlon. Was that ever an event, let me tell you. There were something like 3,000 athletes there, and a greater number of people cheering all those athletes on. Triathletes took over Lake Placid entirely, and you couldn’t go anywhere without seeing bikes and runners and wet suits and all sorts of crazy triathlete gear. The race itself was long (2.4 miles swimming, 112 miles cycling, and then a marathon), but I was captivated the entire day. My friend had a fabulous race, finishing third in her age group and qualifying for the world championships in Kona, Hawaii. I was so happy to be there.

Then Hobgoblin and I stuck around for a few days to fit some rides and hikes in, including a hike up Mt. Marcy, the highest point in New York State, which took us all day and left us sore for a couple days afterward. But it was one of the most beautiful hikes I’ve ever been on.

Then it was off to Vermont to visit some friends for a couple days, and there we did some more walking, a little riding, some reading, and lots of talking.

And from there we drove to Bar Harbor, Maine, and Acadia National Park for a week of more of the same — hiking, riding, reading, and lots of eating. Lots. I’ve come to love the Bar Harbor area because it has the best of a lot of worlds — it has beautiful mountains and forests; a gorgeous, rocky coastline; islands that are great to explore with kayaks; cute towns of various sizes with lots of shops and restaurants; and other options for entertainment such as live theater, movie theaters, wineries, bookshops, etc., etc. It does get crowded, and I’m one who tends to stay away from crowds, but it’s worth dealing with all the people to have such easy access to both creature comforts and natural beauty.

So that’s been my summer so far. I spent today trying to transition into a more serious mode in order to settle down to work (and the truth is, I took some school reading along with me because I couldn’t go quite that long without working).

As for what’s going on with this blog … I’m not entirely sure what I want to do or will do with it. I’ll admit I enjoyed the break of 1 1/2 months without feeling any pressure to post. But I also missed the interactions I’ve enjoyed with my blog friends, and I’ve missed processing my reading experiences here. Right now I feel as though I’d like to get back to a regular schedule of posting, but I don’t know to what extent that impulse will fade as the school year begins. I do know I want to try to enjoy it as much as possible and worry about it as little as possible, so if that means an irregular posting schedule, then so be it. But I do hope to be around a little more than I have been in the last month or two, so we’ll see how that goes.

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What I’ve been doing

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Literary Confessions

Lots of people have been doing some form of the “literary confessions” or the “I really should have read this, why haven’t I yet?” meme, so I thought I would too. So let’s see — what are the books it seems I should have read by this point but haven’t yet gotten to?

  1. Shakespeare’s history plays. With the exception of Julius Caesar, I haven’t read any of them. Almost all the Shakespeare I’ve read was for a full-semester college course on the subject, and the professor I had didn’t emphasize the history plays, going for the tragedies and a few comedies instead. I haven’t gotten motivated to read them on my own.
  2. I’ve read some of the Canterbury Tales but not all of them. Actually, I wonder how many people have read all of them instead of reading just the most famous ones. Regardless, it seems like I should have read the whole thing. But no.
  3. Everyman, the play. Can you see a theme in this list so far? If it’s before, say, 1660, the chances are decent I haven’t read it.
  4. The Aeneid. As far as major epics go, I’ve read The Iliad, The Odyssey, and Paradise Lost, but I’ve ignored Virgil.
  5. But on to some more (relatively) modern things. Oliver Twist. I’ve read my fair share of Dickens — Bleak House, Our Mutual Friend, Great Expectations, David Copperfield, A Tale of Two Cities, A Christmas Carol. But no Oliver Twist and no Hard Times.
  6. Billy Budd. I’ve read Moby Dick, but nothing else by Melville. In fact, I’m not that great on the Americans, generally. I’ve read The Scarlet Letter, but not House of Seven Gables or Blithedale Romance; I’ve read relatively little Poe; and I’ve read The Pioneers by Cooper but not Last of the Mohicans or any other of his novels.
  7. The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck. This is one that many people get to in High School or thereabouts, right? I missed it somehow.
  8. Anything by Margaret Atwood. I have Alias Grace and Hobgoblin owns The Handmaid’s Tale, but I have yet to pick her up. Soon, hopefully soon. I follow her on Twitter after all.
  9. Catch-22. Hobgoblin encourages me to read this every once in a while, but without any success. I’m not against reading it, but I don’t think it’s exactly my sort of book.
  10. The Last Temptation of Christ. This is one I would like to get to, but I say that about thousands of books.

So that’s my list. I think I’d better get reading now.

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Book Buying Binge

I got the urge to go book shopping the other day, so I talked Hobgoblin into traveling to Manhattan to see what we could find. We both came home with a nice stack. We started at Three Lives, headed from there to Partners and Crime, took a walk over to the Strand, stumbled into Shakespeare and Co. for the first time, and ended our trip at Housing Works Cafe. There are at least a handful of other bookshops within fairly easy walking distance that we could have visited, if our backpacks hadn’t already been full and if we weren’t in need of dinner (at one of our favorite places, Chat ‘n Chew).

Here’s what I found:

  • Joan Didion’s Slouching Towards Bethlehem. I adored The White Album when I read it a year or so ago, and so I wanted another collection of Didion essays. I have her book The Year of Magical Thinking, which I’m looking forward to, but that’s not an essay collection, and I wanted essays.
  • George Orwell’s Facing Unpleasant Facts. You’ll see that I was on a nonfiction kick. I found six great books all at the Strand, which is why I like to go there so much: they have a great section of literary nonfiction that goes on for shelves and shelves — biographies, criticism, essays, memoirs. I usually head straight to that section and don’t emerge until someone makes me. Orwell is an amazing essayist, and I’m happy to read as many essays of his as I can find.
  • David Laskin’s Partisans: Marriage, Politics, and Betrayal Among the New York Intellectuals. I read about this book on Zhiv’s blog. Its subjects include Mary McCarthy, Robert Lowell, Elizabeth Hardwick, Hannah Arendt, and others, all of which sounds great, plus Zhiv’s enthusiasm was very persuasive.
  • Kathleen Norris, The Virgin of Bennington. I read her book The Cloister Walk a while back, although I don’t remember it well, but she’s always seemed like a writer worth tracking, and the description of this book sounded intriguing: “Shy and sheltered, Kathleen Norris wasn’t prepared for the sex, drugs, and bohemianism of Bennington College in the late 1960s — and when she moved to New York City after graduation, it was a case of our of the frying pan and into the fire.” I’ve been in a mood for memoirs lately, and surely this will be a good one.
  • Mary Gordon’s Good Boys and Dead Girls and Other Essays. I heard about this one from Emily. It’s a collection of essays and reviews, focusing particularly on literature, gender issues, and the Catholic church.
  • David Lipsky’s Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself: A Road Trip with David Foster Wallace. I couldn’t resist this one. Eventually I will read all of Wallace’s work, but I don’t want to read it too fast, so reading about him for a bit will slow that whole process down.
  • And now on to some fiction. I got copy of George Eliot’s Scenes of Clerical Life because I’ve been hankering after some Victorian fiction. I want it to be something I’m sure to love, so Eliot is a safe bet. I have other Victorian novels to read, but sometimes no one else but Eliot will do.
  • Anita Brookner’s The Bay of Angels. When I saw this book at Housing Works, I realized I wasn’t sure whether I had an unread Brookner novel at home or not. Having an unread Brookner novel at home seems like a wise thing to do, so I grabbed this one. It turns out I did have an unread Brookner after all, but now I have two.
  • Robert Walser’s The Tanners. I don’t remember where I’ve read about Walser recently, but I know I have and he sounds intriguing.

So that was our trip. I can’t remember all of the books Hobgoblin got, but one of them was Justin Cronin’s novel The Passage, and he’s downstairs reading it now. I don’t think he’ll want to do anything else but read until he’s finished with the thing.

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The TBR Challenge: Beckett

Today I finished my 12th book for Emily’s TBR challenge (you can see my list in the sidebar to the right). That is, I read my 12th book out of a planned 20, and I’m in the middle of a 13th. Considering the fact that the challenge goes until the end of this year, I’d say I’m doing quite well. I’m enjoying having a longish list of books to choose from, which gives some structure to my choices but also isn’t too limiting. We’ll see how I feel when I get down to just a couple books left, but since I have more than six months to read them, I have plenty of time and can read books off as well as on the list. I like this structure so much, I might compile another list of 20 when I’ve completed this one, just for the fun of it.

So the book I finished today is Samuel Beckett’s novel Molloy. Well, that was an interesting read. It was odd and wonderful in the way you expect from Samuel Beckett, if you’ve read him before. I could tell that this book was written by the same author who wrote Waiting for Godot and Endgame, two plays I’ve read and/or taught, and which I enjoyed in a bewildered, bemused kind of way. I responded to this novel in much the same spirit.

The book splits into two parts, and I’ll admit to liking the first part much better than the second. The first part is told in the first person from Molloy’s perspective, and it’s a stream of consciousness narrative of his journey through some unnamed territory. He’s no regular traveler, though; he’s a vagrant, with no money, very few possessions, and one simple quest — to find his mother. He’s not sure where she is, though, and he’s also not sure where he is; all he knows is that he wants to find his mother, but he keeps running into obstacles that keep him away. He’s physically decrepit, first of all, with one bad leg and a “good” leg that is in danger of going bad, and a whole host of other ailments. He travels around on a bicycle that he can’t move very well. He can’t remember much either, and he keeps running into people who arrest him or insist on taking him in, which he wants none of.

What makes this narrative appealing is the rambling voice, which is comic, bawdy, philosophical, and despairing by turns. He moves from a wonderfully funny meditation on how to store his 16 “sucking stones” — stones that keep him from feeling the full extent of his hunger — so that he sucks on each one equally and in order, to serious thoughts on death, to comic passages on the body, and back to seriousness again. It’s absurd and crazy and sometimes moving.

The second section is narrated by a mysterious detective-type named Moran who receives instructions to find Molloy. This part of the book is about his preparations for and execution of this mission (or his attempted execution of it). While Molloy is endearing in an odd sort of way, Moran is an ugly character: he treats his son and his housekeeper abominably, and he’s full of pride, hypocrisy, and cruelty. As he sets out to find Molloy, his world begins to fall apart around him until he becomes a lot like Molloy himself — lost, physically falling apart, despairing, hopeless.

While I didn’t enjoy the second half as much I did the first, I still loved the bizarreness of it all. This is the kind of novel where you have to get rid of your expectations of what a novel usually is and accept a completely different kind of world, with entirely different rules. I like the challenge of this, at least now and then. It’s not a difficult novel, really; it’s just off in its own corner far away from all the other novels, doing its own unique thing.

For my 13th book in the TBR challenge, I’m reading a collection of essays by the poet Louise Glück, Proofs and Theories. I’ve read only the first essay so far, which I thought was wonderful: it’s an autobiographical essay on the experiences that turned her into the type of poet she has become. The writing is thoughtful and smart, writing to take one’s time with.

And now I need to go choose another novel. I’ll probably pick something not on the TBR challenge list, just for a change of pace. But I have no idea what it will be.

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Bad Blood

I still feel in the middle of a blogging break instead of at the end of one, but I did want to post at least a short review of Lorna Sage’s memoir Bad Blood, the latest Slaves of Golconda read. Sage grew up in the 1940s and 50s in northern Wales in a very odd family. Her grandparents, with whom she spent much of her childhood, hated each other, her grandmother hated all men with a passion, her grandfather was a philandering vicar, her father was absent at the war in her early years, and her mother was miserable as a housewife and never quite grew up. Sage lived at first in a vicarage with her grandparents, a dirty, falling-down, mysterious kind of place, and then after her father returned from the war in an open-plan council house that made her miserable. It was fascinating to read about what life was like at the time: how awful the schools were, with no intention of teaching the pupils anything at all except keeping them in their place, how strict the class divisions were, and how closed off and constricted were the lives people led. Young people did what their parents did, and that was that. The Sage family were outsiders, originating as they did from southern instead of northern Wales and having an uncertain class status, as well as a quietly scandalous grandfather. Sage spent much of her childhood alone, wandering around the countryside, a countryside that some might see as picturesque, but which she knew was really harsh and wild.

And changes were underway, although they showed themselves slowly. New agricultural technology meant that young people who expected to labor on farms would find themselves without work and would have to leave their hometowns to become laborers elsewhere. New educational ideas would challenge the indifference and cruelty of a school system that refused to teach its children, and, of course, the 60s were on the way. But these changes came slowly, and for most of her childhood, Sage has to battle her circumstances all on her own.

She is certainly capable of waging battles, though. She’s a tough, smart, independent young person, and she is lucky that her grandfather taught her to read at a young age. Reading provides her with an escape, in a number of ways — an escape from the family craziness as she buries herself in books for hours and hours, and eventually an escape in the form of educational opportunities that take her to university and on to an academic career.

I enjoyed the book because I found Sage interesting as a person, because the time period and place were fascinating to learn about, and because I enjoyed Sage’s writing, which is vivid and powerful. At the same time as she tells her particular story, she captures what life was like for people in her time and place, and it’s a picture that makes me feel very grateful to live when and where I do.

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Recent Reading

A very quick update post on what’s going on in my reading world:

  • I finished The Bhagavad Gita a while back. I read it twice, actually, once quickly and another time at a slower pace. It’s short (maybe 80 pages), so it wasn’t a challenge to do this. What is there to say about this book? Lots, of course, but not in a brief summary. I didn’t understand everything I read, but much of it is a very lucid introduction to some of the core beliefs in Hinduism.
  • Last night I finished Mary McCarthy’s collection of linked stories The Company She Keeps. I love McCarthy and am happy reading pretty much anything she’s written. This book was great: her main character is fascinating (and seemed very much like McCarthy herself — who is fascinating), and what I liked about it in particular is the amount of analysis it contains, analysis of ideas, social situations, people, politics, psychology, relationships, and love affairs. Often in these stories not a whole lot happens, but I was pulled along by the forcefulness of the author’s mind at work.
  • Yesterday I also finished Ben Yagoda’s book Memoir: A History. I was disappointed, although that may not be the book’s fault. I’m not a huge memoir reader, but there are some I absolutely love (including those by Mary McCarthy), and I was hoping to be able to add to my list. There were very, very few that Yagoda inspired me to read, however. It was a good overview of the genre, but it turns out that an overview is not really what I wanted.
  • I just picked up Elif Batuman’s The Possessed: Adventures with Russian Books and the People Who Read Them. I’m only 40 or so pages in, but so far I’m liking it a lot. She’s a very smart writer with an interesting voice and the ability to move smoothly among various modes of writing — personal narrative, literary history, intellectual contemplation. It’s the kind of nonfiction I like very much, and I have high hopes for the rest of the book.

As for cycling, I’m riding like mad. I rode 170 miles this week — on three rides. There was the cupcake ride with two others on Tuesday for 50 miles, a 30-mile loop with my cycling BFF on Thursday, and today a 90-mile ride with a group of six. I’m getting used to long rides, and although I began to get tired toward the end today, I was able to push hard right up until we returned.

I raced last Saturday in my first Pro123 race. My results reflected this lack of experience — 23rd out of 31 starters — but I rode hard and felt fine about it (I averaged 19.6 mph for 48 miles and 2,500 feet of climbing, which for me is fast, even if most of the others were faster). I have no idea when I’ll race next, excluding the Wednesday night training races, which don’t feel much like a race for me, as I’m not in contention to win. I like this uncertainty about racing, and instead of anticipating a race, I’m looking forward to another long ride next weekend, perhaps 100+ miles.

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Final Thoughts on Emma

I wrote last time about Emma and the accuracy of the most recent BBC adaptation, and after finishing the book I decided that it only went wrong in a couple small places. These places have nothing to do with plot but are more about capturing my sense of how people would have behaved at the time, or at least how they behaved in Jane Austen novels. I found the physical closeness of Emma and Frank Churchill during the Box Hill scene to be too much, and Emma does not run tearfully into Donwell Abbey to tell Mr. Knightley she can’t marry him because she can’t leave her father, but except for those two moments, I think the movie got it exactly right. I think I’ll have to watch it again some time.

Now that I think about it, though, I’m remembering something else that struck me upon finishing the novel: the ending of the movie is very romantic, as one would expect from an Austen adaptation, but the novel is much more prosaic and practical. There are romantic moments in the book when Emma and Mr. Knightly finally get together, but very, very quickly we are past that and on to the details of how they will live after the wedding. The book goes on for a surprisingly long time after the romantic revelations. I know some critics have written about the way that the marriages in Austen aren’t always as ideal as they might seem or as we might like and that Austen is perhaps being more critical of the institution than we generally think. I’m not sure what I think of that claim, really, but certainly in Emma attention is as much on practical logistics as it is on romance. Rather than storming into Donwell Abbey in tears telling Mr. Knightley she can’t marry him because of her father only to have him comfort her and assure her that she can, in the novel she calmly thinks to herself that they won’t be able to marry while her father is alive. She’s willing to accept this. She’s happy when Mr. Knightley figures out a way to care for her father, but it’s not a particularly dramatic scene.

But, of course, it’s too much to ask of a movie that it acknowledge this prosaic aspect of the novel, and, frankly, I would have been disappointed if it had.

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Updates

I’ve been a bad blogger lately, and I’m this close to saying I’m going to take a blogging break so I can stop thinking about it for a while, but then I think, oh, I can manage to write something short, an updating kind of post, and maybe that will keep me going until I get some time and motivation back? Perhaps. We’ll see.

So, updates. I went on a lovely, 90-mile ride today with Hobgoblin, my cycling BFF, and two other guys, both good riders. Actually, it’s amazing anybody showed up for the ride at all, because this is how Hobgoblin advertised it in an email to our cycling club:

Terrible, ugly ride.  Five hours of pain, misery, and horror.  Expect bad attitudes, elitist snobbery, and open mockery of your bike-handling abilities.  Lots of climbing, bad roads filled with potholes, and strict pacelines.  We’re heading north to Lake Waramaug and Kent, so no sniveling about the route.   If you want to put yourself through this torture, be ready to roll from the shop at 8:30 on Sunday, May 2.

Would you show up for that ride? I certainly wouldn’t, if I weren’t married to the writer. Even knowing the tone was joking, I’d be afraid. But the “terrible” ride was really great, and we weren’t mean to each other at all. There was, as it turns out, lots of climbing, tons of potholes, and we did ride in a paceline, but our attitudes stayed upbeat. Any mockery aimed at each other was of the affectionate sort.

I’ve talked a lot in the past about giving up bike racing, haven’t I? Yeah, I have. But … it hasn’t happened yet. In fact, I recently applied for and got an upgrade to Category 3 (racers start in Category 4 for women and Category 5 for men, and work their way up the categories as they do well in races). This upgrade is both exciting and frightening — exciting because it’s an acknowledgment that I’ve done well as a racer, and frightening because my races will now be faster and longer. For example, next weekend’s race has the Women Cat 4 riders racing 24 miles, while all other women (Cat 1-3 and pro riders) race 48 miles. So not only will I be racing with Cat 3 riders, but also with 1s, 2s, and pros, and I’ll be racing twice as long. Let’s just say I’ll probably be hanging on to the pack for dear life.

I have no idea what will happen in the race, but I do know I’m riding farther and faster this year than I ever have before. So far this year I’ve ridden 2,165 miles, probably 500-600 more miles than usual, and in April alone I rode 640 miles. I didn’t plan on riding this much; it just sort of happened. And it’s fun.

As for reading, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed Agatha Christie’s The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, and if I get my act together this week, I’d like to post on it. My mystery book group met yesterday and had a great discussion, as usual. Right now I’m eagerly awaiting hearing what our next book will be.

This past week I’ve been working my way through Jane Austen’s Emma. I got inspired to pick it up after watching the new BBC miniseries and enjoying it greatly. What happened is that while I liked the liveliness of the interaction between Emma and Mr. Knightley in the film, I wasn’t sure it was an accurate adaptation of the text, so I decided to reread the book and see (I’ve read the book multiple times — so many times I’ve lost count). It turns out the film is pretty accurate, and I’m beginning to think that my idea of Mr. Knightley has always been too serious and solemn. He is definitely fatherly in a way that seems a little odd in a romantic hero, but he’s also very sociable, witty, and amusing.

I’m not sure about the film’s portrayal of the flirtation between Emma and Frank Churchill, but I’ll withhold judgment until I get to that part in the book.

And that’s about it. You can see why I’m not blogging much, as it’s often a matter of deciding between reading and blogging, and I desperately need to read.

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Bike maintenance and a reading slump

Let me just say that as much I love riding my bike, I do not love taking care of my bike. Cleaning it is always an ordeal, one that leaves me with cuts and scrapes on my hands and black grease under my fingernails (and often on my arms and legs as well). Tonight I needed to put two new tires on, and the whole thing was an utter failure. After some struggle I pried the tires off, put new tubes in, and pried the tires back on (and banged up my knuckles in the process). That was okay. But when I tried to pump up the tubes, they wouldn’t hold air. It turns out I punctured the tubes at some point while trying to get the tires on. In one case the tube got pinched, and in another some mysterious small, sharp metal object got in between the tire and tube and ruined everything. Sigh. Poor Hobgoblin got tired of listening to my complaints and curses and finally stepped in to finish up the job for me. Poor Muttboy was so stressed by the whole scene that he couldn’t eat his milkbone. I got grease on my jeans and on my t-shirt and had to scrub my arm so hard to get the grease off that I practically made myself bleed.

I should be better at this by now, but I’m just not.

I did go on a great 75-mile ride yesterday, however, with two other women on my racing team. We are well matched in terms of strength, and we had fun riding hard and enjoying the beautiful, sunny day. I have now made a good start on my summer cycling tan: I have an inch of burnt skin on my wrist, the part that’s exposed between my arm warmers and my cycling gloves. I also have about five inches of tanned skin on the lower part of my calves and shins, the part that’s between my knee warmers and my socks. I’m working on a pretty sharp line on my arms below my shoulders as well. I’m ready for the beach, right?

As for reading, it’s been up and down. I finished Jane Gardam’s novel Old Filth and was disappointed. When I last wrote about it here, I was enjoying it a lot, but immediately after I wrote that post, I hit a section where there were a number of odd coincidences, the plot took a turn I didn’t like, and all the sudden the characters felt unfamiliar. I never quite recovered after that. I was knocked out of the world of the book, all the sudden wondering whether I was reading it properly. The story just didn’t ring true to me anymore.

That said, though, the premise of the book is very interesting, and I’m guessing not everyone will have the reaction I had above. The novel deals with the vestiges of British colonialism, telling the story of a young boy growing up in Malay and left to the “natives” for his upbringing. His mother died shortly after giving birth and his father did his best to lose himself in his work, so it was only his aunt who paid him any attention. Eventually he was sent off to England to be raised by strangers, unfortunately, as it turns out, cruel and abusive ones, and after that he went to boarding school. It’s an absolutely awful childhood, one full of neglect and abuse. It seems like a fairly common one, however, since many British children growing up in the colonies were sent back to England by their parents who hoped they could get a good education and learn how to be properly English.

The main character, Edward Feathers, grows up to become a lawyer and then a judge, working for a while in Hong Kong (hence the “FILTH” acronym: Failed in London, Try Hong Kong), and then retiring in England, which is where we meet him. The present-day action of the novel takes place during Edward’s retirement, with lengthy flashbacks to his younger years. Gradually, we discover the full extent of everything that happened to him.

I liked the back-and-forth narration (in fact, it’s when the novel paused for a lengthy period in the present day that it started to falter), the gradual revelation of Edward’s life story, and the glimpse the novel gives into colonial culture. I just wish the narrative pacing had been better and that the characters had remained convincing throughout.

Because I seemed to be having a hard time with literary fiction (Old Filth and Vertigo leaving me underwhelmed), I decided to try a mystery novel and picked up Elizabeth George’s Payment in Blood. I did much better with that one, enjoying it a lot. Then this afternoon I just finished Agatha Christie’s The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, which I surprised myself by totally loving. At this point, I’m hoping I’m out of the short reading slump I was in, and now I have the fun of choosing something new.

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A Supposedly Fun Thing

So, yeah, I’m not posting as often as I usually do. I’m not sure where my energy has gone. I used to post regularly even when I was busier than I am right now, but these days I just don’t seem to be able to. I think I may have had things in a delicate balance for a while — I was busy, but I managed life just well enough that I had enough energy left over to write a bit here — and now that balance has gotten out of whack. I’m riding more than I used to, going to yoga more than I used to, seeing friends more than I used to, and that’s been just enough to make me grateful that blogging is optional, and that I can skip posting as often as I want. I think I’m also, slowly, becoming a more relaxed, less driven person (thanks to those yoga classes, perhaps?), so I’m more likely to conclude that the world will be just fine if I don’t write that blog post I was thinking about writing.

But I don’t want to go too much longer without writing about David Foster Wallace’s book A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, even if it’s in a short and summary fashion. Because the book was just SO good. I’m sad now that I’ve read Wallace’s two essay collections and there aren’t any more out there to read. I’m imagining that there will be more collections of Wallace’s work coming out eventually, but they won’t be books he’s put together himself.

The book surprised me by being 350 pages long (and they are long pages with relatively small print) and containing only seven essays, one of which is less than ten pages long, and another of which is less than 20, which means that the remaining five are quite lengthy. Many of the pieces were first published in magazines (three of them in Harper’s) or journals, which makes me even more surprised that they are so long. But thank goodness people let Wallace publish long essays, because when he’s given room to explore a subject thoroughly, he really digs in deep and reports back in a most satisfying fashion.

Several of the essays are of the “explore an event or a subculture and describe it for the rest of the world” variety, and he takes his time to describe not only what he sees, but what he’s experiencing personally, so it’s an essay about the subject and also about the writer. They are very much personal essays, not purely journalistic ones (in fact, he sometimes makes fun of himself for the ways he plays at being a journalist).

I’m tempted not to mention the essays’s subjects, for fear that you will lose interest, because frankly I wouldn’t normally want to read about some of the things he writes about. And the truth is that Wallace is worth reading no matter what his subject. It’s the combination of journalism and personal essay, along with his distinctive witty, honest, self-deprecating, super-smart-but-low-key-about-it style that makes his essays so great. He has such a companionable voice that you are willing to read whatever he wants to tell you about, because surely he will have something interesting to say and will make the whole thing fun.

But I’ll tell you about the subjects anyway. The more journalistic essays are about the Illinois State Fair, David Lynch’s films (and the set of Lost Highway), the tennis player Michael Joyce, and a cruise. There is also a personal essay on Wallace’s experience growing up in the midwest playing tennis (which also touches on math and midwestern winds); an essay on television, irony, and fiction; and a short book review essay.

What really matters, though, is the voice in these essays. I think that Wallace tends to write in a similar voice whether he’s writing fiction or nonfiction. The fiction (well, Infinite Jest; I haven’t read his other fiction yet) is less personal and more varied, perhaps, but all of the writing has a similar sensibility and a similar use of language — wildly inventive, exuberant, funny, self-aware, playful, brilliant.

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Crazy weekend bicycle racing

Okay, now I’m tired. I did my super, awful, horrible, extremely long race yesterday, and then I got up this morning and went out to race again. And I got two top ten finishes!

Yesterday’s race, The Tour of the Battenkill was the hardest ride I’ve ever done. I’ve been on more difficult courses before, but I’ve never worked that hard for that long. The course was 62 miles with some long hills and something like 10 miles of dirt roads, and it took me 3 hours and 30 minutes to finish. Much of that time I was working as hard as I could.

I started off in a pack of something like 40 racers, and we rode together for the first five miles or so, until we got to the first dirt section (the first of eight). At that point somebody in front of me crashed; I don’t know what happened exactly, but I was far enough behind it to be able to swerve off to the left and ride around the fallen riders. It always feels cruel to ride around people who have just crashed, but that’s what you do, if you’re lucky enough to be able to do it. I found myself a bit behind the main pack at that point, but with some effort I caught back on, and on we went.

Things were fine for the next five miles or so until we came to the first big hill, at which point a group of about six riders opened up a gap on the pack. I left some slower riders behind me, and as I crested the hill, I looked around to see who was left to ride with. I’m not entirely sure how things happened, but eventually I ended up riding with three other women, one of whom was my teammate, and then we caught up with two women from the front group who were starting to fall back, and the next thing I knew I was in a group of six and there were four riders up the road. That’s how things stayed for a long time after that. Eventually my group of six got a paceline going (where riders ride in a line, and one person leads for a while before moving to the left and dropping back to take their place at the end of the line to let someone else lead before they, too, drop back, and so on), and we rode that way for miles. For a little while the leading group of four stayed within sight, and we tried to catch them, but we just couldn’t do it.

The race stayed that way until one woman dropped away on a hard hill, and then another woman’s chain fell off and she had to stop to fix it, and I was left with a group of three other riders.

I think the hardest part of the race was watching the miles go by, slowly. I was happy to get to the halfway point, around 31 miles, but that left me with another 31 to go, which would take me over an hour and a half. Hitting mile 40 was great, but there was still another 20; hitting 50 was wonderful, but at that point I was beginning to get seriously tired. Around mile 55 my calf muscles were threatening to cramp, and around mile 60 my quad muscles were going. Thank God I only had two miles left at that point. I was still with the three other riders, including my teammate, going around the last corner into the finish line, and I would have loved to finish ahead of at least the riders on other teams, but I had only enough left to get me to the finish. Still, that got me 8th place, and let me tell you, I’m happy with that. Once I stopped riding, my muscles let me know just how unhappy they were, and I realized that I hadn’t had enough to eat or drink on the ride. So when Hobgoblin, who had just finished his own race, bought us cheeseburgers, I ate mine as fast as I could, and it was probably the best-tasting burger I’ve ever had.

Oh, and 8th place was enough to win me some prize money, so I came home $20 richer. The scenery we rode through was gorgeous — upstate New York hills — but, sad to say, I didn’t see much of it. I was too focused on staying just behind the rider in front of me and on looking out for potholes to take a moment to glance at the hills and farmland. Perhaps someday I’ll ride up there again, and this time do a more leisurely tour of the area.

Last night I tried to decide whether to ride in this morning’s race, which I had already registered and paid for, and I thought, well, I might as well try, and if it doesn’t go well, I can always drop out with a very good excuse. So I got up this morning and set out on my warm-up ride. I felt okay — a little wobbly on the small hills near my house, but okay. When the race started, my plan was to stay in the pack and draft as much as possible to conserve energy. That’s basically what I did, although at one point when the field was riding a little slowly I launched a short attack, just because I felt like I could. The further I got into the race, the looser my legs felt, and the more I thought, hey, this isn’t so bad! And then the last lap was there — surprisingly fast, only 45 minutes into the race after yesterday’s 3 1/2 hours — and I found myself in a decent position at the bottom of the hill leading into the finish line, so I passed a few riders on the hill and ended up in 9th place.

Phew! I’ve never raced two days in a row before, although this something a lot of bike racers do regularly; I had always thought I would be too tired the second day, but the truth is, it wasn’t so bad. If I tried to race tomorrow, things might not work out so well, but tomorrow is a rest day. And I need it because now I’m tired!

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